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argue 72를 써봤는데 고수님들 첨삭 부탁드립니다

vollmond | 조회 698 | 추천 10
  • 2016.08.03
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■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading

▶ Topic :72. The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.

"Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemployment rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades. Moreover, two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time."

*Downsizing is the process whereby corporations deliberately make themselves smaller, reducing the number of their employees.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

▶ Your Answer :  

In the aforementioned letter, the author objects to the claim of the recent article which states that corporate downsizing in Elthyria engendered serious economic adversity among most workers who have lost jobs due to the downsizing. Although the argument may seem convincing at first, lack of evidence leads me to question the validity of the argument.

 First, the author needs to provide solid evidence on the soundness of the comparison between new jobs and eliminated jobs. It is plausible that the innate conditions of new jobs created since 1999 and disappeared jobs are significantly different. If new jobs were created in service sectors and corporate downsizing occurred in manufacturing sectors, the unemployed workers could not fully take new positions in other sectors due to lack of sector-specific skills. Even if the inherent characteristics of new and eliminated jobs are similar enough that numerical comparison is valid, new jobs would have been taken by new employees or workers from other area, not from Elthyria.

 Second, the author needs to supplement the argument with more concrete information on the decline on unemployment rate in Elthyria. In all likelihood, the unemployment rate decreased not because of new jobs in the area, but because that many depressed workers who used to seek any job position gave up on finding new job, decreasing the economically active population itself and thus unemployment as well. 

 Lastly, more evidence is needed on the soundness of the conclusion that it is inadequate to argue that most competent workers who lost jobs due to corporate downsizing are in adverse economic condition. Even if the workers could be able to take the mentioned newly created jobs, if they had got paid top level of wages, not above-average wages, they might still have economic hardship due to decreased amount of wage.

 In brief, the author’s claim is unconvincing on many grounds. To strengthen the argument, the author needs to provide more detailed information on the soundness of statistics and features of the new jobs and disappeared jobs.  

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