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Is there anyone who leave any comments on my writing? Thanks

BLACK | 조회 733 | 추천 10
  • 2016.07.04
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■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer

▶ Topic : It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to

 adhere to them. 

▶ Your Answer : 

In our time, as everything changes rapidly, people faces a myriad of situations asking them to compromise their own belief. It is debatable whether it is more harmful to compromise one’s own beliefs than to adhere them. I agree with the statement that compromising own belief is more deleterious than to abide by them. Several examples of great man in the past shows that adhering their own faith would reap benefits: Galileo Galilei and Abraham Lincoln. Moreover, one of the famous example about one’s belief and impetus epitomizes the case.

            Granted, nowadays we often observe cases of people or group who are overly obsessed with their own belief. To be specific, few cases of people who believe a false religion epitomize how dangerous adhering to their own belief can be. People sticking to such false religions overly abide by their wrong belief. They pay attention to the thing and sayings that are ridiculous for one who does not believe the religion, becoming zealots. Since they so obsessed with the belief that it is hard to turn them into right direction, because they do not listen to other advices of other people. These zealots are usually dangerous and harmful to other people because they are trying to spread their own ideas, and if people dismiss them, they will become more extreme.  As seen in this case, sometimes it is much worse for people to adhere their own belief than compromising it.

            However, in a circumstance of scientific discovery, which contributed a paradigm-shifting idea, adhering to one’s own belief is imperative. One of the most famous argument of the cosmology by Galileo Galilei epitomizes its importance. In times of Galilei, seventeenth century, people were obsessed with the belief of geocentrism, that the all planets in universe including sun circles around the Earth. However, through his own investigation and observation, Galilei figured out that in fact the Sun is a centre of universe. Thus, he claimed the argument on his great discovery to the mass, but people did not believe it. Since it contradicted with Catholic’ long-lasting belief and concepts, Catholic churches castigated Galilei, and even punished him. However, he bravely adhered to his belief, and eventually, he got a death sentence by the churches. After his death, finally successor of his belief rationally proved that actually the centre of universe is the Sun, not the Earth, recovering Galilei’s honour. If he did not stick to his belief and compromised it, one of the greatest discovery in cosmology would not be achieved, hindering a progress and advances in Cosmology and human knowledge. As seen in this case, adhering to one’s faith is crucial

            Moreover, in a circumstance of social progress, abiding by one’s own belief is important. A story from one of the most compelling president in the United States, Abraham Lincoln, teaches us lesson how we should do. Lincoln was born and raised in small town of Kentucky. He could not attend and take a regular education, but he was self-educated himself: one should not compromise own belief under any circumstances. He became a lawyer and came to have his own perspective for society of his time. He always thought why the African American should be slaves, why society is not equal, and why Black people do not have same rights like the White does. Through such contemplating, he argued that African American should also have same right, and slavery is illegal. However, his claim was so radical that it was not accepted in his time, and many people blackmailed him to withdraw the argument. However, not compromised by such menaces, he went to the extra miles to make egalitarian society. Then, with the slavery emancipation movement, he successfully became the president of the United States. Without his resilience and valiant that were not compromised, United States could not be the great nation in our times. Thus, as Abraham Lincoln exemplary, adhering to own belief is critical in social progress.

            In summary, compromising one’s own belief is much deleterious than adhering it to. As seen in the epitomes of great man in our history, Galilei and Lincoln, we should not compromise our belief to the threats and bravely goes to extra miles to achieve our goal.

I gratefully welcome any comments and critiques on this. Thanks
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