GRE길라잡이GRE교재분석GRE공부전략GRE학원정보GRE FAQGRE자료게시판GRE문제토론GRE비법노트GRE Writing
GRE보카외우기GRE Q&AGRE자유게시판GMAT길라잡이GMAT FAQGMAT자료게시판GMAT문제토론GMAT Q&AGMAT자유게시판
MBA정보게시판

Is there anyone who leave any comments on my writing? Thanks

BLACK | 조회 568 | 추천 0
  • 2016.07.04
  • 글꼴
  • 확대
  • 축소

■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer


▶ Topic : It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to

 adhere to them. 


▶ Your Answer : 

In our time, as everything changes rapidly, people faces a myriad of situations asking them to compromise their own belief. It is debatable whether it is more harmful to compromise one’s own beliefs than to adhere them. I agree with the statement that compromising own belief is more deleterious than to abide by them. Several examples of great man in the past shows that adhering their own faith would reap benefits: Galileo Galilei and Abraham Lincoln. Moreover, one of the famous example about one’s belief and impetus epitomizes the case.

            Granted, nowadays we often observe cases of people or group who are overly obsessed with their own belief. To be specific, few cases of people who believe a false religion epitomize how dangerous adhering to their own belief can be. People sticking to such false religions overly abide by their wrong belief. They pay attention to the thing and sayings that are ridiculous for one who does not believe the religion, becoming zealots. Since they so obsessed with the belief that it is hard to turn them into right direction, because they do not listen to other advices of other people. These zealots are usually dangerous and harmful to other people because they are trying to spread their own ideas, and if people dismiss them, they will become more extreme.  As seen in this case, sometimes it is much worse for people to adhere their own belief than compromising it.

            However, in a circumstance of scientific discovery, which contributed a paradigm-shifting idea, adhering to one’s own belief is imperative. One of the most famous argument of the cosmology by Galileo Galilei epitomizes its importance. In times of Galilei, seventeenth century, people were obsessed with the belief of geocentrism, that the all planets in universe including sun circles around the Earth. However, through his own investigation and observation, Galilei figured out that in fact the Sun is a centre of universe. Thus, he claimed the argument on his great discovery to the mass, but people did not believe it. Since it contradicted with Catholic’ long-lasting belief and concepts, Catholic churches castigated Galilei, and even punished him. However, he bravely adhered to his belief, and eventually, he got a death sentence by the churches. After his death, finally successor of his belief rationally proved that actually the centre of universe is the Sun, not the Earth, recovering Galilei’s honour. If he did not stick to his belief and compromised it, one of the greatest discovery in cosmology would not be achieved, hindering a progress and advances in Cosmology and human knowledge. As seen in this case, adhering to one’s faith is crucial

            Moreover, in a circumstance of social progress, abiding by one’s own belief is important. A story from one of the most compelling president in the United States, Abraham Lincoln, teaches us lesson how we should do. Lincoln was born and raised in small town of Kentucky. He could not attend and take a regular education, but he was self-educated himself: one should not compromise own belief under any circumstances. He became a lawyer and came to have his own perspective for society of his time. He always thought why the African American should be slaves, why society is not equal, and why Black people do not have same rights like the White does. Through such contemplating, he argued that African American should also have same right, and slavery is illegal. However, his claim was so radical that it was not accepted in his time, and many people blackmailed him to withdraw the argument. However, not compromised by such menaces, he went to the extra miles to make egalitarian society. Then, with the slavery emancipation movement, he successfully became the president of the United States. Without his resilience and valiant that were not compromised, United States could not be the great nation in our times. Thus, as Abraham Lincoln exemplary, adhering to own belief is critical in social progress.

            In summary, compromising one’s own belief is much deleterious than adhering it to. As seen in the epitomes of great man in our history, Galilei and Lincoln, we should not compromise our belief to the threats and bravely goes to extra miles to achieve our goal.


I gratefully welcome any comments and critiques on this. Thanks
글쓰기 답변 수정 삭제 목록으로 퍼가기▼
  • 페이스북으로 보내기
  • 트위터로 보내기
  • URL 복사

6,525개(1/327페이지)
GRE Writing
번호 형식 ETS 제목 글쓴이 조회수 날짜
공지 ddd GRE Final 적중노트 해설영상 필수보카 암기법,보카TEST 답안지 [6] 도우미 961  
공지 [정보] Writing 시험 후 소감과 tip - Argue [5] spectator 45913  
6523 내작품 116 아규 116번 첨삭 부탁드립니다! 초짜 319 2016.10.28
6522 평가 ㅁㄴㄹㅇ 태어나서 첨 써본 아규인데요... 시간이 부족해서 다 못 썼어요,, 이런... 초짜 283 2016.10.27
6521 내작품 46 Argue 53번 평가 부탁드립니다. Argue 53 292 2016.10.14
6520 기타 kkk Argue 16 고수님들 첨삭 부탁드립니다! 감사합니다!! 아자아자 356 2016.09.28
6519 내작품 77 첨삭부탁드립니다. 라이팅 2.5가 나와서요ㅠㅠ 조언도 달아주시면 감사하겠... [2] 쿠쿠 676 2016.09.13
6518 평가 33 argue 33 첨삭 부탁드립니다. ^^ lgk1003 465 2016.08.20
6517 평가 001 채점부탁드려요..이정도하면 4.5 정도 나올까요 [2] 채점부탁 814 2016.08.15
6516 내작품 argue 72 argue 72를 써봤는데 고수님들 첨삭 부탁드립니다 vollmond 521 2016.08.03
6515 평가 163 첨삭 / 평가 부탁드려요. 당신의 도움이 나에게 빛을. [2] 부탁해요 699 2016.07.09
>> 평가 141 Is there anyone who leave any comments o... [1] BLACK 569 2016.07.04
6513 내작품 issue (issue) 음... 첨삭이 가능하다면 부탁드립니다. rookie 652 2016.06.22
6512 "" Cheap goods Johnk807 535 2016.06.21
6511 내작품 1111 OFF 일까요..? KI3 627 2016.06.06
6510 1 GRE Writing Ann Im 선생님 만점을 위한 에세이 구조 [2] 도우미 3369 2016.06.03
6509 내작품 123 [이슈] 첨삭 부탁드려요 이슈 695 2016.06.03
6508 내작품 11111 이슈 한 번 써봤는데 첨삭을 부탁드립니다!!^^ [3] kiki 1170 2016.06.02
6507 내작품 1 이슈 첨삭 부탁드립니다!! 아자아자 623 2016.06.02
6506 내작품 16 첨삭 부탁드립니다~!! dd 589 2016.06.02
6505 평가 085 waymarsh reading habit 한달남았어 568 2016.06.01
6504 내작품 11111 첨삭을 부탁드립니다!!!!^^ ki3 622 2016.06.01