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첨삭 부탁드립니다~!!

dd | 조회 589 | 추천 0
  • 2016.06.02
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■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading


▶ Topic :

16. In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating, and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recreational facilities. For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river's water and the river's smell. In response, the state has recently announced plans to clean up Mason River. Use of the river for water sports is, therefore, sure to increase. The city government should for that reason devote more money in this year's budget to riverside recreational facilities.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


▶ Your Answer :


             In the letter, the author argues that the city government should devote more money in this year's budget to riverside recreational facilities to make more residents use the river for water sports. Although the argument may seem convincing at first, the unsubstantiated assumptions lead me to conclude that the argument is flawed in many aspects.


             First, the author adamantly believes that the survey respondents are representative of all city residents. It is plausible that the survey respondents are biased. To be specific, the survey could have been conducted mainly on young people who prefers to do water sports or the people who leave near river. If the survey was conducted on certain group of people who is likely to answer that their favorite recreational activity is the water sports, we cannot take the survey at the face value.


             Next, the author concludes that the clean-up of Mason River will surely increase the number of people using the river for water sports. However, the author needs to supplement the argument with the assumptions that the river is perfectly proper only if the quality and the smell issue are improved. However, it is also possible that the river is inherently not suitable for water sports because of its conditions such as shape and the speed of the water. Moreover, it is also unsure whether the water clean up can get rid of the bad smells. If the source of the bad smell is from the mosses attached to the rocks, just cleaning up the water cannot get rid of the bad smell in the river.


             Finally, the author needs to supplement the assumption with more explanations that the use of budget to riverside recreational facilities is the best way to satisfy the city residents' needs. The spending of budget always comes at the expense of other costs that could have been used in other aspects. We do not know whether the city has an educational issue that the money should be spent or the roads that the urgent construction is required. The author needs to provide more explanations that the use of money on the riverside recreational facilities is the best option for the residents.


             In summary, the author’s argument is unconvincing on many grounds. In order to bolster the argument, the author needs to provide more explanations on the survey results, rule out other factors for the increase of the number of people using the river for water sports, and consider other realms that the budget can be spent.


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